Last August and September, I started posting bi-weekly about wedding planning. After just 4 posts, including Choosing A Wedding Party, Finding the Dress, and Finding the Venue, I threw in the towel for a number of reasons.
The main reason was that I truly did not enjoy planning our wedding at that stage. When we first got engaged, I was motivated, I signed up for wedding websites and subscription lists, I bought The Knot's Complete Guide to Weddings and intended to read it cover-to-cover. I certainly overwhelmed Luke with the amount of information I was throwing at him. But eventually it petered out. We moved our wedding date from September (family conflicts) to March (venue unavailable) to May and suddenly it didn't seem so pressing anymore and I lost interest. We booked our venue in April of 2017 when I visited Luke, which that included food and alcohol and I already had my dress at that point. Nothing else seemed urgent and I put it all on the back burner, while occasionally freaking out about how nothing was getting done.
One day, I broke down and told Luke that it was a mistake to even have a wedding. I had been unable to work for months and we had already gotten legally married for visa purposes. The stress of the planning and the paying was piling up and I just snapped. I dreamed of being able to just elope to Italy with Luke, my dress, and a photographer. Luke talked me off the ledge and my mom visited shortly after, bringing my wedding dress and wanting to visit our venue. That reignited my motivation to plan and she helped quell my fears and stressors.
I didn't want to continue with the wedding series because I was afraid it would expose me for a fraud. I had hoped that keeping a public tab on my progress would keep me in check and keep me planning, but really I was afraid that week in and week out I would have nothing to post because I hadn't done anything.
One day in the shower, I decided to scrap all plans to continue with that series. After talking to my younger sister, Sam, she suggested I instead blog after the wedding. She even suggested writing some of the posts beforehand, as I planned and booked, so after the wedding, amidst the craziness, I would already have the framework done. I thought it was brilliant. I'd actually be able to showcase our wedding instead of using "inspirational" photos in posts and I wouldn't spend a full year blogging about our wedding, dedicating to a planning then execution post to nearly every aspect of our day, just to have a blog to post.
I share this part of the story with you because I want people to know that it's okay to not love planning your wedding. Society tells us that an engagement ring comes with the bridal bug and that's not always true. It's okay to not want a big white dress party. It's okay to hand over the reins to someone else to take care of it (as long as they're willing or compensated, I suppose). It's okay if you do it knowing you'll love the day, but hate all the planning. IT'S OKAY. I hate that I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't want to do any of it. I hate that I beat myself up over the fact that I should have planned the whole thing during my six months of unemployment when I had all the time in the world. It turns out I just needed a freaking break because once we really buckled down and started crossing things off the to-do list, I actually enjoyed it quite a bit.
So! Here we are. One week from our blessing ceremony, which I'll probably always call our wedding. Luke and I tend to separate the two days by calling 16 September 2017 our "marriage day" and 16 May 2018 our "wedding day". Things have been very nearly smooth sailing the last few months and we've got nearly everything done. (And I'm not too stressed about what we haven't finished yet.) Last week was a bit of a rough one again, but it was things beyond our control. It was just good to remember why we're doing this celebration and what it's truly about. I hope you enjoy reading about our day and the planning (or lack thereof) that went into it. If not, Wednesdays might be kind of boring of your in these parts of the internet in the coming weeks.
My wedding post ideas have taken a few different forms in recent months, but I would also love to hear from you what sort of things you want me to write about in terms of the day, the other wedding events, and the planning that we did actually do. Leave me a comment below, DM me on Instagram, messages me on Facebook, at me on Twitter, just let me know! On that same note, if you ever have questions about any of it--our choices, our process, our vendors--let me know and I'll do my best to answer them privately or here on the blog.
At the end of each post recapping the wedding, I'll include a list of our vendors with links and where they're based since we used vendors from the UK and US, as well as linking to vendors throughout posts as they're mentioned.
Finally, because our wedding is on a Wednesday and we'll be quite busy all week, I'll be closing the laptop and stepping away from my blog the week. Look for a post on Friday, but then I won't be back until the following Monday, the 21st.